The Grief of the Believer

Death

Will you remember me as I once was?

Back when I was bright, shining like the sun.

Back when there was laughter with little pause.

When I thought the world valued all I’d done?

Will you still be here after I’ve fallen?

When my time in this world comes to its end.

When the faithful have ceased in their calling.

While they burn my temples as some new trend?

Will you forgive me for all that I’ve done?

While your sweet voice drowns among the many?
While crowds protest my battles left unwon?

Now that you’re not my great visionary.

Will you continue to sing my praises?

Or will your sword be the one that razes?

Denial

I've fallen, yet you're still calling my name

I listen, but no longer hear your prayers

To you devotion, to me a lost game

You have made your home on my temple stairs

I watch as you stand your daily vigil

Shouting my praises to the angered crowds

Your will steady as you clutch my sigil

They storm my temple, yet your head is bowed

To them I am not but a damned liar

But to you, I am still worthy of praise

You're faithful even with my church on fire

Looking to me, as though I'm the sun's rays

Still, I wonder. Will you always remain?

Can your devotion always stay the same?

Anger

I should have known your love could never last

I watch you wilt as praise warps to anger.

As red begins to tint our holy past

The safety I find in your praise in danger

When was it that your feelings for me changed?
Was it when I failed to answer your prayers?

Has my fall in your eyes really been arranged?

Now I watch you rage, heart full of despair

Has your passion finally turned to hate?

When you think of me does it light a fire?
Are you no longer willing to wait?
Have all those memories turned to ire?

You were once my most faithful believer

And now you agree I’m the great deceiver

Bargaining

I saw you come to my temple tonight.

My great believer in this deserted place

You came to strike a deal, to my delight.

There was that same old look upon your face.

You came and said my sins you would forgive

if  I would return to who I once was. 

My glory days, I could once more relive,

but time will always do what time does.

The seasons will turn and people will change.

The trees will rot, the earth will wash away.

Promises will break, the world will turn strange.

Lovers will part and believers will stray.

I know you want things as they were before,

but pleading will not reopen that door.

Depression

I’m not one that has often dealt with guilt.

That lonely look on your face has changed me.

I’m not a god of love, for war I was built.

Can I turn back time, so this will never be? 

Your wretched sobs break the silence of night. 

My heart breaks with each cry torn from your throat.

You once worshiped me with all of your might.

Now I cry with you, as the other gods gloat. 

I should have known you were not mine to keep.

Your spirit strong, your prayers gentle and sweet.

You called to me, and I have made you weep.

Of all my sins, losing you has them beat.

I have watched as you deny, curse, and plead,

But not ‘till now have I joined in your deed. 

Acceptance

My temple stands empty, the altar bare. 

Your smile has returned and the tears are gone.

I watch you smile, laughing without a care. 

I’m glad you’re happy, but hurt you’ve moved on.

You, the last of my devoted to go,

has left me for good, abandoned your post.

This is the end, the closing of my show.

No more a part of the heavenly host.

You have accepted your god is no more.

You moved on, I’m no longer what you need. 

You found a new god, you opened the door.

Without you, I am faced by my own greed.

To be at peace, your praises had to quit,

but now that you’re gone, I can’t accept it.